Why You Need to Stop Pleasing Everyone — Before You Forget Who You Are
- Praful Dandgawal
- Aug 18
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 25
How to reclaim your energy, rewire your mindset, and stop living on borrowed worth.
You don’t need another personality test to tell you who you are.
You already know — somewhere under the layers of “yes,” “sure,” and “no problem.”
But over the years, you've learned a dangerous art:
Smiling when you're shrinking.
Agreeing when you're aching.
Sacrificing when you're already starving.
It’s not kindness.
It’s not love.
It’s the slow death of self in the name of others.
And today, you stop.
This Isn’t Just a Habit. It’s a Mind-Body Misalignment
You think you’re being nice.
But your body knows otherwise.
Every time you say yes when you mean no...
Every time you force a smile to keep the peace...
Every time you overextend to be seen as "good"...
You create a silent fracture inside.
Your mind says, “I’m fine."
But your body stores the tension.
Your nervous system gets wired to please before it protects you.
The Bhagavad Gita offers a gentle but powerful reminder:
It is better to live your own dharma imperfectly, than to live someone else’s perfectly.
(Gita 3.35)
People pleasing is living someone else’s dharma.
It's constantly shaping your choices to fit their expectations
But in doing so, you drift from your truth.
And truth, once ignored too long, starts showing up as anxiety, resentment, and burnout.
This isn’t just behavior.
It’s identity confusion.
It’s energy misalignment.
People Pleasing Is a Subconscious Identity Pattern
Let’s decode this with NLP and neuroscience.
Your brain craves safety. In childhood, that often meant approval = survival.
So your subconscious adopted these rules:
If I disappoint, I lose love.
If I disagree, I get rejected.
If I say no, I become replaceable.
And the more you obeyed those rules, the more entrenched they became. NLP calls this an “identity script” — a belief loop that quietly runs your behavior, emotions, and energy.
And now?
You're a high-performer who can't set boundaries.
You're a leader who avoids conflict to feel “liked.”
You're a giver who secretly resents the cost of every “yes.”
People Pleasing Fractures Your Frequency
In Indian spiritual psychology, it is said:
When your Vak (speech), Manas (mind), and Kaya (body) are aligned — only then is Dharma fulfilled.
People pleasing fractures this alignment.
Your words say yes.
Your mind screams no.
Your body carries the weight of that misalignment.
That misalignment becomes energy leakage — a loss of clarity, confidence, and calm. It also manifests externally.
You attract:
One-sided relationships
Toxic team dynamics
Roles that drain rather than elevate
Why? Because you're vibrating from fear, not truth.
And as explored in our blog Self-Talk & Manifestation: What the Universe Is Always Listening To, the universe doesn’t respond to what you want.
It responds to what you broadcast — energetically and subconsciously.
Real World: How People Pleasing Shows Up
You agree to client scope creep without pushback — and burn out.
You avoid asking for a raise even when you're underpaid — and resent it.
You say yes to weekend plans just to avoid “disappointing” friends.
You take on everyone’s emotional load — and neglect your own.
People pleasing isn’t politeness.
It’s emotional suppression dressed as social grace.
Real Life Story – The Invisible Team Lead
Meet Rachit — a team lead in a mid-sized SaaS firm. Brilliant. Efficient. Empathetic.
But quietly — burnt out and invisible. Despite doing more than his peers, he was constantly overlooked for leadership roles. Why?
Because he unconsciously taught people to treat him like a doer, not a leader. His body language, tone, and boundaries broadcasted:
"I’ll handle it. Just don’t get upset with me".
Through 1:1 mindset coaching and NLP rewiring, Rachit learned to:
Speak from power, not guilt
Say no without apology
Lead without overcompensating
He didn’t just “stop pleasing.” He started leading — energetically and visibly
Ready to Stop People Pleasing? Start Here.
1. Awareness Is Your Superpower
Where do you feel a “no” in your body, but still say “yes”?
Who do you fear disappointing the most?
What emotion are you trying to avoid — guilt, rejection, disapproval?
2. Rewire the Belief Loop
Every time you override your truth, a belief is reinforced.
Use NLP tools to rewrite:
“It’s safe to be real.”
“My truth isn’t rude.”
“Saying no protects what I say yes to.”
3. Align Your Energy
Your speech. Your actions. Your intent.
When they’re congruent — your frequency becomes magnetic.
No more overexplaining. No more shrinking.
Just resonance.
Wealth Psychology Angle (Optional but True)
People pleasers often:
Undercharge to be “liked”
Overdeliver to “prove” value
Struggle to receive money because they feel guilty
In wealth psychology, boundaries are seen as a form of abundance. When you say no to misaligned energy, you say YES to aligned prosperity
Journal Prompts to Unplug the Pattern
Who am I trying to impress or protect right now?
Where am I compromising my truth for harmony?
What does my inner voice actually want to say?
Final Truth: You Don’t Owe Them Your Soul
Stop people pleasing.
Because your ancestors didn’t survive plagues, wars, and heartbreaks — just so you could live your entire life filtered.
Because your child doesn't need a martyr. They need a model.
Because your calling isn’t served by dilution.
Because the universe doesn’t reward self-abandonment.
It rewards AUTHENTICITY.
So Speak. Choose. Live. From you — for you
Let’s Rewrite This Pattern, Together
Explore 1:1 coaching or leadership transformation workshops with Mindset Coach Praful — rooted in neuroscience, NLP, energy psychology, and Indian wisdom.
Because once you stop people pleasing…
You start living.
✅ Coaching, Keynotes & Workshops Available
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